The final solution: Find Blair a safe seat

 

While Brown fiddles around in Downing Street silencing his YouTube critics and deciding on the next tactical move in his last desperate attempt to wrong-foot the Tories, the rumour mill moves up a gear.  Today brings news that Cabinet rebels (this must be assumed to mean all members apart from Brown) want ID cards scrapped, together with the £25bn replacement for Trident.  Let us not be detained any longer by the rights and wrongs of major planks of New Labour's agenda being tossed into the skip.  Oh no, we must move on to far more weightier matters.

Listen up.  Rumours are circulating that another Honorary Life Member of the ‘I Can’t Stand Brown Society’ is thinking of giving up his position and returning to the front line.  The Daily Mirror reveals that John Reid will make a comeback in the June reshuffle.  The assumption being that Brown will still be sitting in the Cabinet Room to make the offer of renewed friendship.

There is of course a much better idea that Labour should actively consider.  Toss out the present Cabinet and restate all surviving members who took office in 1997.  Furthermore, Blair should be found a safe seat and dragged back into Downing Street with Alastair Campbell hanging on for dear life.

While all this is going on, Cameron will climb ever higher in the polls whist he maps out his plans for the UK with Boris Johnson and Alan Sugar holding his hands.