06 February 2009

Tony, the Prime Minister here

The No 10 switchboard puts a call through to Tony Blair in Washington.

GB: Tony its me, the Prime Minister

Tony’s phone: Who?  Oh Gordon is that you?  It is Cherie here.  How are you?  Tony has left his mobile with me.  He did not want his phone going off while he was speaking at the prayer breakfast.

GB: Oh…

Cherie: It can be very embarrassing when your phone goes off when the world is watching, you as you know.

GB:  The breakfast finished hours ago

Cherie: Yes but he has been with Barack since.

GB:  Why?  Well I want to talk with him.  I am not that happy.

Cherie: Yes I can understand that.  The UK is in recession, the polls are not that good and …….

GB:  (starting to raise his voice) It is not about the economy.  I don’t spend all my waking hours….I want to talk to him…

Cherie: Gordon, do grow up.  Barack wanted advice from Tony about several matters and personalities on the world stage.  After all…..

GB: (now sweating with his voice trembling) My time is short.  I have no time for this. I am the Prime M……

Cherie: Gordon I have got to go.  Michelle has me invited me to lunch.  I am taking her French and German phase books.

GB:  I have put up with enough from you.. just tell your husband to ring me.

GB throws the phone across the room but is remains connected.

Cherie: (forgetting to disconnect) Tony, we played that well.  Here is your phone.  Another drink.

GB to his aide:  (he has now completely lost it)  Cancel the meeting with Mandy and get me Charles Clarke!

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