Make-up if you want to

 

Before we get onto the serious stuff of the day, The Sun has published details of make-up tips used by our ridiculed leader.  They were left in a taxi by a careless aid:

A white A4 sheet listed Mr Brown’s make-up routine if he has to do it himself. It read:

1. Transparent Brush. Foam all over. This is believed to be an illuminating foam to give the PM’s face that certain glow.

2. Small pot under eyes, dimple, creases, blend in. This refers to the use of concealer to smooth out facial bumps and blemishes.

3. Clinique. Super balanced make-up. All over again, like painting a wall, and ears. Shut eyes over lids then with make-up pad smooth over liquid. This tells the PM to trowel foundation over his whole face.

4. Powder (dark brush) terracotta Guerlain, all over. Slap on fake tan bronzer.

All this is gobbledegook to me.  An insider explains:

It’s an idiot’s guide to applying heavy make-up.

That's reassuring.